i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
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