So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Duck Duck Cougar?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
