Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
this beer tastes like vomit already
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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