i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
