we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
