I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
