Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
