People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
