come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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