No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
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