I have demons in me.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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