Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
