Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
