We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
