Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
