She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Your penis caused this!
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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