I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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