Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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