Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
