So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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