just come out here and I will go home with you...
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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