Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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