how can u be prego again
I cut my penus on the lid.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize