I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize