Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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