yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
