if you like me you must not know who I am
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
