You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
