I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
this just has baby written all over it
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Still dying that you shit outside
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize