You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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