Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
