Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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