my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I still have a little drunk in my system
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
