you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
