I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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