your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
