i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
