What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
