So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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