oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
