wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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