i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
