Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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