I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
