i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
