if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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