When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
