that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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