Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
