u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
