All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
