On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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