Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
