I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize