Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
