So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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